valkyriekat_47: (Regulus Black)
[personal profile] valkyriekat_47
Author: [personal profile] valkyriekat_47
Title: Severus/Regulus: Last One's A Snargaluff Pod
Word Count: 594
Rating: G
Warnings: silliness. And teenagers are always hungry.

“We're just too clever,” the young boy whispered to Severus Snape. They were watching the embers of a 3 am fire turn to mere smoke and dust.

“Reg, we can do whatever we wish. Within reason.” Severus smirked. His hair was limp and his face pale, but you could sense that strange charisma he had, Regulus thought.

“You and your reason. I want to have fun.” Regulus pouted.

“Slytherin by night under Disillusionment Charms is not without 'fun,' Regulus Arcturus Black.” Severus' eyes grew narrower and then widened in another thought. “But where...” Severus began.

Regulus thought he was a step ahead.

“You want to get into the Gryffindor Common Room? We can stick my brother's hand in warm water...”

“Common Room is too common. I hear their passwords swoop around the Great Hall like bats.”

“They call you a bat.” Regulus grinned with malice.

“I hadn't noticed.” The sarcasm was heavy.

“Restricted Section? Maybe we can find out more...” Regulus had a one track mind. Voldemort.

“You stick your foot in every door, you squiggly snake.”

“Thankssss.” Regulus wagged his tongue at Severus.

“Restricted Section first. Then I propose we go the last place we're expected.”


“The kitchens. We can take off the Charms there. Then we'll show them how bony we are and they'll fork over a ton of pasties.” Severus was definitely fourteen.

“You think he wants us?”


“The Dark Lord. Wants anyone so unimaginative than to use a Disillusionment Charm to get into the kitchens. Sounds like something banal my brother and his mates would get up to.”

Severus kicked at the ground. He stared back at the fire, away from his uptight friend. But Severus was even more of a highly strung person. Far more.

“I'm not doing anything about that just yet. Half the snakes in the school are hot on his tail. I tail no one. I do what I want. And what I want is to go to the kitchens. I read about the entrance. You don't want to go, no chocolate gateaux before breakfast for you.”

Severus wanted to steer clear of a topic Regulus couldn't shut up about. As if the Dark Lord would ever conquer the magical world. Not with the pearly beard and chalk-white eyebrows at the head of the teacher's table.

The things Severus admired that he was supposed to despise, according to his classmates. His other best friend, Lily, and Dumbledore, yet how he went for the unfolding story of the dark arts and their attractions.

“Here, Reg. Let me put the Charm on, and we'll look up a nice set of advanced jinxes to use against Potter and the other Bl--”

“Sirius. Use his first name,” Regulus said, teeth gritted, strained.

“Sirius. And the other two if they're stupid enough to step in.”

“Just jinx Potter.”

“Never alone is he? And do you think he wants us?” Severus raised his ever ironic eyebrow.

“You're going to say how highly predictable it is that one would stand up for an idiot Gryffindor brother. You...! I can't lay family aside, that's what he wants!” Regulus seemed five years older. Perhaps ten.

“I can't lay my jinxes aside, it's what they all want!” Severus sneered. Regulus turned on the spot and seized someone's Transfiguration text and whacked Severus with it.

They fell to the ground, and even Severus was giggling like a first year.

“Forget jinxes! Last invisible one to the kitchen's a Snargaluff pod!” Regulus panted, laughing causing a stitch in his side. Snakes really are ridiculous, he thought.
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March 2014

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